Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
by we'll wait for our miracles
Summary: There was only one reason Akito wasn't ready to die. He wanted to see what happens when the snow melts. Male!Akito. Akito/Hatori.
1. Prologue

Author's Notes!

this is an amarouse story.

to all of those who don't know, my friend baku [volatili] is sharing my pen name with me, so all stories from here on out will be marked in the AN who they are by. c:

okayso. this isn't a one shot. woot.

this is a story i wrote like...last year, i swear, and i just found it and realized i should post it and continue it! happy jacku.

it's actually really sweet. which is weird, because i normally just do angst and smut. XD

though, this will be a tad sad. kyahaha.

oh dear, thank you to every single one of you who has been giving me and my stories favorites and all those beautiful reviews.

i want to marry each and every single one of you.

and thanks to baku. duh.

Baku: Don't forget to poke air holes in your pokeballs, folks.

Disclaimer!

okay. i don't own furuba. hi.

I JUST WANNA POINT OUT TWO THINGS. YES, AKITO IS MALE IN THIS STORY, AND YES, I KNOW HE ENDS UP BEING A FUCKING GIRL IN THE MANGA.

ah jesus christ.

i watched the anime first and honestly, he will forever be a man in my mind.

IF YOU DON'T WANNA READ THIS 'CAUSE OF THAT, THEN GOOD RIDDENCE TO YOU.

oh, so i'm gonna rate this M.

i plan on putting boysmex in here sometime. :3

so read up and enjoy.

please review and as always, no flames.

flames are for pansies.

-----------------------------------

It was too quiet.

The silence was unnerving. There were people all around, yet no one spoke. A scowl took over the face of the head of the Sohma family as a robed arm extended, pale pink sleeve falling back as he did so. A bird came to rest on an extended finger; one of his lovely finches.

He had a bond with these birds. He had a bond with no one else. Instilling fear and hatred did nothing good for making positive relationships and improving one's social skills.

Perhaps he didn't want any. Any bonds, any friendships. He only wanted one, one he could never have.

"Get Hatori."

One with Hatori.

Someone stood, nodding slightly and leaving the room. Akito flicked his finger, nudging the bird off, watching as it flew out of the room. Akito did love is access to the outside from his room. It was beautiful, not to mention his birds could come and go as he pleased.

The servants however...made to stay. Hatori's orders, and Akito hated it. He hated them. He'd hit a few of the girls, causing a weary Hatori to sigh and tell him not to. If Hatori's words did anything at all, they at least made him apologize, though he wasn't sorry at all.

And so, the doctor entered and the servants left (as one of Akito's fits made it clear that if Hatori was in the room, they were to get their "worthless asses" out pronto).

"Is something wrong, Akito-san?"

Hatori was weary. Weary as he'd always been since Kana. Since that whole...incident had occured. At first, he was afraid of Akito. Then the fear subsided and turned to weariness, but never hate. He could never hate or blame Akito for what he did.

Akito was his God. It was the curse he was born and would die with.

"I feel like I have a fever," Akito said softly, pulling his robes closer to him; they often tended to slide down his shoulders. He stood with his back to the doctor, who was sitting on his knees. Hatori faced Akito. Akito faced the setting sun and the trees.

"And this cough hasn't gotten any better."

You see, Akito was getting very close to death. The reason behind the servants that were always in his room. The reason for the frequent (more-so than usual) doctor visits.

Akito didn't mind Hatori's visits, however. It was quite the contrary.

"And I'm starting to think that death will be better than having all these wretched girls in here all day."

"That isn't true, Akito-san..."

"I much rather enjoy your company, Ha'ri-san."

You see, Akito was in love with Hatori.

-ch. one ++ fin-


	2. Chapter 1

Author's Notes!

yay for chapter two!

i actually have three chapters already written, then I actually have to do work. xD

ohoh! if anyone notices where the title came from, i'll be happy.

later on in the story it makes sense, especially if you've read the actual poem or seen the movie.

thanks, Bakudon.

Baku: Wise man say 'Thou who smelt it, dealt it.'

Disclaimer!

i still don't own Furuba.

no sex up in this mother yet.

just angst.

---------------------------------------------

"I don't want to die, Hatori."

Akito sat down, still facing away from Hatori. He hugged his knees to his chest, resting his head against them.

"Akito..."

Hatori was...well, almost shocked. Akito had never said this before. He'd always told him that he accepted his death. That he might even be a little okay with going.

"...if you break the curse-"

"No one wants me to stay. No one wants me to live. They want me gone. They hate me. If I break the curse, everyone will leave Sohma House. If you say you wouldn't, you're lying."

Hatori sighed and stared at his knees. Would he leave Sohma House? He wasn't sure. He had always led an enclosed life. He didn't know anything else. But to get away from this family? It would be a deep breath of fresh air. Kana made him feel so...invigorated! What if he could find that again without Akito to dictate what relationships he could and could not have?

And Akito in general...the boy brought him pain. Unhappiness. Stress. Akito was a mess. He probably wanted nothing more than to make Hatori miserable just because he had that power. He did not, and never would, understand that boy.

"If you don't want to be alone, why do you distance yourself? Why do you treat everyone so badly? Fear gains you control, but it does not gain you love."

Akito said nothing. He merely shivered and closed his eyes, starting to feel worse. It wasn't a strange occurance, but nonetheless an unpleaant one all the same.

"...I don't hate all of them, Ha'ri..."

"You could have fooled me. Punishing everyone won't make them like you. Do you think hurting people and making their lives hell will make anyone like you? It will make them stay away from you. Hate you."

"Silence!"

Akito was standing now. He was shaking, shaking from a mix of fever and anger. "If I have to suffer, so do you. If I have to be alone, so does everyone else. If I have to live in hell, so do you!" He was furious. Hatori braced himself, waiting for punches, smacks, thrown objects. "If I have to die with no one who cares one little bit about my life, I hope you all suffer with your curse! Suffer forever!"

"Akito-!"

"If I cannot have the love I desire, neither can you or anyone else!"

Hatori was taken aback, startled. Love? Akito had never mentioned a thing love before. Where was all of this coming from?

"I should have killed Kana! I loved you first! I wanted you! I..." Akito stopped suddenly. His eyes went wide as he realized what he was saying. Realized the secret he'd just told.

He ran.

"Akito!"

Hatori ran after him, if not only because he had to know more about this sudden discovery, but because Akito was still ill and in no shape to be running around in the cool, night air. But this love? Akito was in love with Hatori?

It explained everything! It explained it perfectly. Why Akito hated Kana. Why he wouldn't allow the marriage and even why he blinded Hatori. Why he convinced Hatori to erase Kana's memories. That was the way Akito had always been. If he couldn't have something he desired, no one else could, either. But it made so much sense to Hatori!

Akito was heartsick with unrequited love.

Akito ran. Out of the main house and onto the bridge before he felt someone grab his wrist. Stop him. Turn him around. He didn't need to look to see who it was. He already knew.

"Akito!"

Akito couldn't bear to look at him. Akito was so tired and hurt and cold and...he grabbed onto Hatori. He leaned forward, pressing his lips ever so softly onto the older man's, feeling him tense with eyes wide open with disbelief. Akito's eyes closed as a tear rolled down his cheek, breaking the kiss and clinging to Hatori's shirt. He fell to his knees as his eyes shut, everything going black...fading...darkness...

"I'm sorry, Ha'ri..."

Akito collapsed. Hatori didn't know what to merely stood, a hand pressed to his lips, playing the scene over and over in his mind. Akito said he was in love with him. Akito kissed him. Akito...apologized. Akito passed out.

"Hatori!"

He snapped back into reality, back to the new situation at hand. Hatsuharu was kneeling, holding the head of the Sohma family in his arms.

"I don't know what the hell just happened, but he needs your help! Now!"

And Hatsuharu was right

-chaptertwo++fin-


	3. Chapter 2

Author's Notes!

and here we are with chapter three!

the title of the story starts to come into play in this chapter

and it's sort of angsty and sweet.

c:

thanks, B-dogg

Baku: Wise man say 'A good woman does seventy chores around the house. Cleaning, and sixty-nine.'

Disclaimer!

i don't own Furuba, or the poem/movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

mhmhm.

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Akito was in a coma for days.

It was hard for Hatori. If Akito was awake, they could talk. So Hatori could tell Akito that he didn't feel the same and avoid the situation entirely. But now, Hatori was left to think about it, left in the same room as the dying boy. The beautiful, dying boy. It made Hatori's heart hurt.

For a week and a half, Hatori could do nothing but endure these overwhelming emotions he had.

On one side, it explained everything! It made sense to him. He'd thought that Akito just wanted him to be miserable because he could. This showed that Akito cared. That Akito had a heart. It made him see a new side of the younger male, a beautiful side Hatori had never seen before. It made him want to stay, to hold Akito in his arms. To kiss him...? Was this attraction? Pity?

...love? No, preposterous.

There was another side, however. An angry side. Just because Akito was unhappy didn't mean that everyone else should be punished! If Akito was kind, everything could have been different. If he could have understood beyond his own greed that Hatori felt the way for Kana what Akito felt for Hatori.

...but then again...how hard was it for him to let go of Kana? They were in the same scenario. Had Akito let Hatori and Kana wed, he would have had to live with the misery and pain of knowing Hatori was happy and in love with someone else.

It was what Hatori had to deal with because of Kana. Because if Akito couldn't have Hatori, no one could.

It was very warm, as it was the middle of summer, and because of Akito's condition, his room was kept even warmer.

The entire thing was a blur to Hatori now. He rushed after Hatsuharu, becoming a doctor zombie. He did everything necessary when it was all the last thing on his mind. When Akito wouldn't wake up he was still in zombie-mode as he continued his work like he cared of nothing, while on the inside, the two opposing sides of his mind were waging a war. He didn't know, didn't know, didn't know.

Hatori didn't know what to do.

Hatori had anticipated and longed for Akito to awaken since the entire ordeal had happened and now, a week and four days later, he thought he would go mad. It was hot-he had stripped down to his boxers and lap coat. He was hot and bothered (literally, not sexually, much to his dismay.)

He hadn't been getting much sleep, for he rarely could when he tried. He was too worried. What if Akito died? He knew it would leave a deep hurt within him if that happened. Shigure and Ayame had come by and tried to get him to take a rest. Get some sleep. He never did, though. He had to be here with Akito.

It was around eleven p.m. Hatori was sitting on the floor beside of Akito's bed where to boy was still in his sleep. Hatori was reading, not that he could focus on the words. He read every single word on the page but none of it sank in. His mind was only on Akito.

It was good that he didn't, however, because at the slightest rustle of movement, Hatori dropped his book and turned, seeing the younger male start to sit up, looking down at the blankets, keeping himself curled up beneath them.

"You've been unconscious for a week and a half," Hatori said softly, "But since you've woken up, that shows good improve-"

"Leave, Hatori. Now."

"...what?"

"Go. I can't...don't..." He pointed towards the door, "Go."

"No."

Akito looked up in shock. Hatori told him no?

"I won't go. I have to take care of you and beyond that, I want to talk to you. I want to stay. Running away and isolating yourself won't..."

"Why? Don't you hate me, Ha'ri-san? You have every reason to. Hurry up and let me die."

Hatori ignored him.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fuck off."

"You need to eat something. You're obviously lively."

"No."

"You act as if you'll die if you show weakness to me. Don't think you're the only one hurting right now, Akito."

Akito wouldn't say a word, only hugging his knees to his chest. He didn't want to deal with this right now. He didn't think he could deal with it right now.

"It hurts, Hatori. My heart. Because you're here right now."

Hatori sighed as he sat down on the edge of the bed, facing away from him, biting his bottom lip in thought. He knew what that pain felt like. He felt it because of Kana and now he was starting to feel it because of Akito. It wasn't an easy thing to suffer through.

"I understand. I know."

"You suffer because I suffer, but you shouldn't. It's my fault."

"Akito-san, listen, please..."

Akito said nothing, looking up with sad eyes that broke Hatori's heart.

"I understand how you feel. I understand why you wouldn't let me marry Kana."

"No you don't."

"I-"

"Silence. Leave. I'll listen to nothing you have to stay. Leave. Leave Sohma House and never come back. I can't bear your presence."

...leave? Was Akito insane? No, Hatori realized, he was upset and with Akito there was a very fine line that seperated the two. He needed to calm him down.

"Akito, I want to stay here with you."

"No, you'll be better off if you leave..."

"Why won't you listen?"

"You'll be happier if you leave and forget all about me...make me...forget about you."

Hatori froze.

What?

"You..." Hatori said softly, softer than a whisper, "Want to forget about me..." He watched Akito look up, his eyes full of hurt. Pain, confusion, fear. He watched him nod.

"It hurts too much because I hurt you. I ruined you. It would have been better if we had never met."

He said it. He said Kana's words. Those same. Exact. Words.

So that was it, was it? Everyine who fell in love with him had to have their memories erased? That is curse extended so far as to where the people who loved him became so miserable that they couldn't even bear Hatori's mere presence? This was what true pain felt like. Knowing that you made everyone who you loved and loved you want to die. Made them want to forget.

"I refuse."

"You cannot refuse, Hatori. I command you to."

"I won't do it, Akito."

Akito was furious.

"I command you to! You must do what I tell you to do! I want to forget you because you will never love me in return! So much as seeing your face makes me want to die!"

"I won't do it! Not again!"

"Hatori!"

Hatori turned and grabbed one of Akito's wrists, jerking the boy close. Akito trembled, staring away, but he didn't fight back. Hatori had a vicious grip on his wrist, one he would not try to break.

"I would rather die than erase the memories of another person who loves me. A person I care about. I will stay here forever as your slave or do anything you wish me to, but I will not erase your memories, and I will not leave. Do you understand?"

Akito didn't look up, didn't acknowledge him. He was almost afraid, so unsure of what to do. He couldn't fight this one. Hatori had him.

"I-I need...to take a bath..."

Hatori dropped his wrist, letting the boy stand and get off of the bed, walking into the bathroom. Hatori waited for him, for Hatori had just realized something. He had found the breaking realization between the two conflicting parts of his mind, found the one underlying thing he needed to know.

Hatori was falling in love with Akito.

-chapterthree++fin-


	4. Chapter 3

Author's Notes!

wooo for chapter three.

more sadness.

mhmhm.

i'll brighten this up soon.

thanks for reviews, favorites, and alerts on all fics. c:

Baku: Wise man say, 'Shotgun wedding is a case of wife or death.'

Disclaimer!

still don't own Furuba.

still no sex, but it'll happen. kyahaha.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

This was bad. This was very, very bad. Akito wouldn't listen. Akito was dying.

This was very, very, very bad.

Akito wouldn't eat. Wouldn't take his medicine. Wouldn't speak a word to anyone. He wouldn't even make eye contact with Hatori. He avoided his gaze like the plague and would have avoided the man altogether if it weren't for the fact that Hatori wouldn't leave. Only once did he speak to him and it was to utter words that cut Hatori like a knife.

"Just stop trying, Hatori-san. This is all in vain. I'm going to die no matter what you do."

Why couldn't Akito realize that Hatori didn't want him to die?

Hatori was getting to the point where he wasn't even sure if speaking to him was worth it. He was starting to wonder why he didn't leave just leave like Akito said. Hatori had a deep, deep feeling that this wasn't going to end well. That Akito would distance himself from the world until he died. He had to remind himself why he stayed here, why he was trying to make this boy happy, to make him better, to keep him from dying when he knew that was probably impossible.

He was reminded everytime he saw Akito's eyes. Those tragically beautiful eyes. Those eyes that hid all of Akito's pain and hurt and sadness when he wouldn't let any of it slip.

Akito was getting much, much more ill. He was always shivering from fever, his already pale skin had become paler, his cough had escalated to something violent. The entire time he wouldn't speak a word. He did everything silently. He would knock the trays of food offered to him to the floor, shove Hatori away when he offered him medicine, all without letting a word slip from his lips and letting his eyes leave the floor. It was getting to the point where Akito would barely let Hatori touch him. Hatori would rather have Akito hurt him than refused to be touched at all.

This was terrible.

Now, our dear doctor knew that he had some kind of growing feelings for Akito, but he didn't want to label them just yet. He felt something strong for him and it sure as hell felt like love, but he wasn't anywhere close to telling Akito. He didn't want to mistake something that could easily be pity for love and break the boy's heart just yet. If he was heartless, he would lie to Akito. Tell him that he loved him and convince him to break the curse to benefit himself and the other zodiac members, but Hatori didn't have that power within him. Hatori cared for Akito, actually cared, and that meant a lot. Hatori was a logical man and he knew better than to jump into something he was not one hundred percent positive about.

There had to be another way to save him.

It was early in the morning. Hatori had only been awake for an hour or two and his patient was still sleeping, not only for the fact that he usually slept later than Hatori anyways, but with ilness did come the need for rest. Hatori was sitting outside of Akito's room, leaving the door open so he could still watch, having a much-needed smoke. He was more accustomed to smoking indoors, but because of Akito's health, it currently was not an option.

"Ha'ri-san!"

He looked over to the bridge as he saw Shigure, who had called out his name, and Ayame, who was waving his arms like a madman to beckon him over. With a sigh he stood, walking over to the two, cigarette still hanging between his lips.

"Hatori, you poor dear, you look like death!"

"Ah...maybe you should be a bit nicer, Aya. Ha'ri has been having a rough time."

"But he doooooes!"

Hatori sighed, shaking his head. It was too early for this. There should be laws put in place to make early morning annoyance illegal.

"Why are you two here?" The doctor said to the other two zodiac members, taking a long drag from his cigarette, covering his ears as Ayame started talking much louder than he should.

"YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO TAKE A BREAK, HA'RI! YOU'RE GOING TO WORK YOURSELF TO THE GRAVE! YOU LOOK LIKE YOU HAVEN'T BEEN SLEEPING OR EATING OR ANYTHING! HAVE YOU EVEN BEEN BATHING?! HAS AKITO HURT YOU ANYMORE?! WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO AND LET THE SERVANTS STAY WITH HIM?!"

"Shut up, Ayame."

"Yes sir!"

Hatori leaned back against the railing of the bridge, watching Akito's room. He knew that Akito liked to lie outside in the early morning, or when Ha'ri wasn't around, go outside and take walks. He wanted to watch him from a distance, see what Akito was like when he was alone, see if he could say anything more to the boy that he kept hidden to everyone else.

"Hatoooooriiii! Pay attention!"

He looked back over, tossing his cigarette out, watching Shigure and Ayame silently.

"Hatori," Shigure said, sighing softly, "you need to give up."

"You really are stupid, aren't you?"

"Listen... it isn't worth it. You're working yourself to death when he's going to die, no matter what you do. He won't break the curse. He isn't worth it."

"He is worth every moment of my time and more."

"He hurt you! How can you be so kind to him? Just give up."

"None of that means anything!" Hatori was starting to get angry, which was strange, but he was actually showing his anger, which was even stranger, "Maybe he is the way he is because no one ever cared about him!"

Hatori left the bridge quickly, realizing the shocking truth in his words. Now that he thought about it, now that he really thought about it, no one did care about Akito. His mother hated him and because of his position of power and common illness, he was isolated from most of the family. It made sense for him to fall in love with Hatori, his doctor, the person he saw most. The person who cared for him. How was Akito supposed to show others love and kindness when no one had ever shown it to him? He only knew how to treat people the way his mother treated him. This was the sad, sad truth of the matter. The truth that made him realize once more how vulnerable the nineteen year old really was.

He walked back to Akito's room silently, staying quiet as he stood in the doorway, watching the boy, who was walking off his porch and out into the garden. He watched Akito as the boy put his hand over his head to keep the sun out of his eyes, as he watched the clouds, as his free hand extended and his little white finch landed on it. Hatori noticed many things in this moment, about how he worried about Akito's pale skin in the summer sun, how his robes fell down on his shoulders, showing how thin he really was. He noticed that when Akito's eyes closed, his long, dark lashes ghosted over his cheeks, that his lips would part ever so slightly to coo at the bird softly, lips that Hatori felt a yearning to kiss.

Maybe it was for this reason that when Akito hunched over in a violent cough, he noticed the tiny trickle of red running down from the corner of those plush lips.

The doctor rushed over, grabbing Akito's wrist and turning him around. Just as he suspected, the blood had been wiped away. Akito had keeping this symptom, a very serious symptom, a secret from him.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Akito didn't even try to lie, didn't even speak. He stared to the ground, trembling in fear from the sudden harsh demeanor of the man, chewing at his bottom lip. He stayed silent, though his lips parted once, just once, as if to speak, though no words came out.

"Why?!"

Hatori glanced up at Akito's wrist, now noticing the blood stained on the sleeve of the kimono. He always coughed into his sleeve. He hid the blood from Hatori.

"Tell me!"

And then Akito whispered the first words he had said in days, words that only made the situation worse.

"I don't want to live anymore, Hatori..."

++fin-


	5. Chapter 4

Author's Notes:

sorry it took so long to post this, life got very hectic. school started, lots of doctors visits, epic failure, etc.

thank you all for reading and write a review. flamers will be flamed. with a torch. no sex yet, but it'll be soon. i just about died of angst, so here's some fluff n' stuff. :)

Baku: Wise man say 'Don't eat the yellow snow, but the brown snow is worse.'

Disclaimer:

oh hey. i still don't own Fruit's Basket. or any Edgar Allan Poe poems.

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Silence.

It was something that Hatori had come very accustomed to in his life. It was something he usually enjoyed. Right now, though, this silence was unnerving. Akito had fallen silent once again and because of that, the words he last said rang through his head.

/"I don't want to live anymore, Hatori..."/

They played over and over like the lyrics of a song caught in his head. It hurt every time he thought of them, which was nothing short of constantly. It hurt to see so much painand sadness in the boy's eyes. Could Akito ever be happy again? Hatori was starting to believe he couldn't.

Unless...

Hatori knew exactly what he needed to tell him to make everything better, but Hatori wasn't sure how to. He had to be positive, absolutely positive, before he told Akito such things. His feelings grew more and more with every passing moment, but Hatori coudln't rush into this.

He wished he could have. He wished he could just whisk the boy off of his feet and confess undying love to him and they could be happy forever. But fairy tales weren't real. Hatori knew things would never be perfect...

...but was happiness too much to wish for?

Akito got more and more ill as the days went on. Hatori was not worried that the boy would commit suicide. He knew Akito wasn't the suicide type and knew that Akito was just going to wait out his misery until he was finally dead and out of the world forever. The head of the family began to look more and more defeated as each day went on. His depression had become so obvious, yet no one would say a word. No one except Rin, of course, but Hatori practically fought her off to keep her away from Akito. He did not need that sort of torment right now along with everything else.

"It's about time he finally gets the pain he deserves," Rin told Hatori at one point, "That child never even deserved to live."

Hatori had to suppress an urge he had never felt before. It was something violent and repulsive to him. He made sure Rin was forbidden to come near Akito until he broke the curse or died.

It was storming that day. Storming something vicious. Akito kept his doors closed, leaning back against the wall, eyes closed, listening to the pouring rain. His bird was inside, he made sure it flew in before he closed his doors, perched somewhere in the room.

All there was in the room was silence. Nothing but that cruel, tormenting silence that was driving Hatori mad with each and every moment, the hideous reminder of Akito's depression. The only time Akito made noise was to cough, another thing that was only getting worse as time passed.

Hatori tried to read, tried desperately to focus his attentions on other things. He tried thinking about other things. Hell, he even tried going over his patient files, trying to see if there was one miniscule detail he had missed. Nothing worked. Not one thing worked.

The doctor had gone mad. He might as well do something with this madness, he figured. He might as well be mad enough to talk to Akito, even though the boy wouldn't answer or even look at him. What the hell did it matter anymore?

"Akito-san, would you like me to read to you?"

No answer.

"I'm reading poetry. Poe, to be exact. Would you like to hear some? You might like it."

Akito didn't speak, didn't look at him. After a long, long moment, he nodded.

"Perhaps you will like this. It's a classic. Annabel Lee."

No response, but that was to be expected.

"It was many and many a year ago,

In a kingdom by the sea,

That a maiden lived there whom you may know

By the name of Annabel Lee;

And this maiden she lived with no other thought

Than to love and be loved by me."

...he had to pick this poem, didn't he? He had to pick Poe...had to pick something that Akito knew might break him. This was cruel.

"She was a child and I was a child,

In his kingdom by the sea,

But we loved with a love that was more than love

I and my Annabel Lee

With a love that the winged seraphs of Heaven

Coveted her and me."

Akito hugged his knees to his chest. He knew the poem. He knew it by heart. Poe was probably his favorite poet. He too knew what it was like to be so unlucky at love.

"And this was the reason that, long ago,

In this kingdom by the sea,

A wind blew out of a cloud by night

Chilling my Annabel Lee;

So that her highborn kinsmen came

And bore her away from me,

To shut her up in a sepulchre

In this kingdom by the sea."

So Hatori wanted to make him suffer more, was it? Hatori must have wanted Akito to dwell upon what he did before he died. He wanted him to die more miserable than he already was. That had to be it.

"The angels, not half so happy in Heaven,

Went envying her and me:

Yes! That,was the reason as all men know,

In this kingdom by the sea

That the wind came out of a cloud, chilling

And killing my Annabel Lee."

Akito trembled. He was so hurt by now, so broken, so torn down. Any shred of hope he may have possessed was about to break. He fought back tears, lips mouthing the words along with Hatori.

"But our love it was stronger by far than the love

Of those who were older than we

Of many far wiser than we

And neither the angels in Heaven above

Nor the demons down under the sea,

Can ever dissever my soul from the soul

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee."

/'I don't love you,'/ was what this meant, /'I will always love Kana, no matter what you have done to her.'/ Yes, that was how Akito took this. It was what he positive it meant. By now, not that he had noticed, he weakly whispered the words of the last stanza along with Hatori.

"Forthe moon never beams without bringing me dreams

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

And the stars never rise but I see the bright eyes

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side

Of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride,

In her sepulchre by the sea

In her tomb by the side of the sea..."

There was a long, long, long silence after this finished.

"You spoke," Hatori said, closing the book, staring at Akito with wide eyes.

"I heed not that my earthly lot

Hath--little of Earth in it--

That years of love have been forgot

In the hatred of a minute:

I mourn not that the desolate

Are happier, sweet, than I,

But that you sorrow for my fate

Who am a passer by."

Another poem by Poe. It was how Akito responded. It was another one he knew by heart, for its words were precisely what he had always wanted to say to Hatori. /'I'm sorry. I made you miserable. I made you unhappy, and that makes me unhappy. I only wish you could have the happiness I never will.'/

But now Akito knew the truth. He knew that Kana would always be Hatori's love. His 'Annabel Lee.' And even though Akito wanted to be Hatori's, there was nothing he could do. Everything was so, so, so utterly worthless at this point. What did it matter anymore?

Akito went mad as well.

He stood, flinging the doors open and running outside, into the pouring rain. Rain was supposed to cleanse. Maybe it could wipe all of his sadness and pain and depression away. Maybe it could just wipe him away. Or maybe all it could to was hide his tears, for now sobs racked his body.

Sobs that could not be stopped, not that Akito tried to stop them. Nothing mattered anymore. He ran until he could run no more, until he fell to his knees, face buried in his hands, the pent up tears of so many years finally unleashing. He wept. Wept for what he had done to his love and wept for the fact that no one could ever love someone such as himself. Wept because he was happy that he was dying, because living day by day hurt so much. Wept because he did not know what else to do.

What he also did not know was that Hatori had followed him. The doctor followed him out into the rain, calling out his name. He was oblivious until Hatori fell to the ground beside of him, pulling him into his arms. Akito didn't even try to fight him was too hurt, too broken, too destroyed to try anymore.

"Akito," Hatori whispered into his ear, holding him in a crushing embrace. He knew what he had to say. No, not what he had to say. What he needed to say. Three words that he now knew he meant.

"I love you, Akito. I want to be with you, forever and always."

Akito froze. He felt his hear skip a beat; a breath got caught in his throat. He had to be dreaming, had to be hallucinating, something. None of this made sense. Hatori...Hatori couldn't love him. Not after what he did to him. This...this couldn't be real.

"I'm in love with you...please...please believe me..."

The younger boy looked up at Hatori, tears still in his shock filled eyes, mouth open, yet no words came out. He didn't speak and merely blushed as Hatori wiped away his tears, chewing at his bottom lip, finally speaking after a long moment of silence.

"You...you mean that?"

"I would never lie to you."

"I love you..."

Hatori didn't reply with words. He tilted Akito's chin up, slowly and softly pressing his lips to the younger boy's. Akito gasped, closing his eyes, wrapping his arms around Hatori's neck. Neither of them knew how long that kiss lasted, but for both of them it was a blissful eternity they got lost in.

The rain had stopped. The dark clouds in the sky had passed as the sun started to break through.

"I love you," Hatori whispered.

"I love you too."

The doctor picked his lover up, carrying him back into his room, both of them the happiest thet may have ever been in their entire lives.

"Lives can change with just three words," Akito told him, "And you have just changed mine for the better."

And though Hatori did not reply with anything but a smile, he knew that the same was true for himself.

-fin-


End file.
